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[heartsink]

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Comments

26th of december; text

[crab]

JUST SO YOU'RE AWARE
WHENEVER WE HAPPEN TO BE ON THE SAME CELESTIAL BODY ONCE AGAIN
I HAVE SOME STUFF FOR YOU TO PICK UP.

Re: 26th of december; text

[heartsink]

What

[ succinct. ]

Re: 26th of december; text

[crab]

I FAIL TO SEE WHERE I DID NOT MAKE MYSELF ABUNDANTLY CLEAR.

[heartsink]

"Stuff" is literally the most ambiguous word in any context.

[crab]

AS IF YOU HAVE ANY ROOM TO BE GETTING ON MY CASE FOR AMBIGUITY. I SHOULD SWITCH TO VOICE JUST SO YOU CAN HEAR HOW RAUCOUS MY LAUGHTER IS RIGHT NOW.
BUT FINE. MORE SPECIFICALLY, THEY ARE BELONGINGS. THAT BELONG TO YOU.
MOSTLY CLOTHES, BUT THERE ARE A COUPLE OF OTHER THINGS IF YOU WANT THEM.

[heartsink]

[ um. ]

And why, precisely, do you have my clothes? Were you wearing them? Because if that's the truth, you can keep them.

[crab]

YES, RUKA, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING.
YOU CAUGHT ME. IN FACT, I'M WEARING THEM RIGHT NOW.

[heartsink]

Like I really want them back after you've put your junk in them. I don't care how much time you spent practicing your striptease routine, you can count me out.

[crab]

OK WELL MY APOLOGIES FOR SHATTERING YOUR ELABORATE AND NO DOUBT HIGHLY LASCIVIOUS FANTASIES REGARDING, IN ORDER: ME WEARING YOUR CLOTHES, MY JUNK AND WHERE IT HAPPENS TO RESIDE AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT, AND MY PERFORMING A STRIPTEASE *USING* YOUR CLOTHES
ALL OF WHICH I COULD HAVE GONE THE REST OF MY LIFE REMAINING HAPPILY UNAWARE OF, JUST FYI
REALLY DID NOT NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU GET OFF TO IN YOUR FREE TIME. IN ANY CAPACITY.
BUT THAT WAS SARCASM.
YOU STUPID LEAKING SHITPOUCH.
THE REALITY OF IT IS THAT AS A RESULT OF HOW OFTEN RUKA IN THE CITY AND I ENDED UP STUCK WITH ONE ANOTHER ON INTERDIMENSIONAL FIELD TRIPS, SHE TOOK TO USING ME AS A SENTIENT SUITCASE.
ONE OF MY POWERS ALLOWS ME TO FILL THE ROLE PRETTY EFFECTIVELY.
AND SINCE SHE'S OBVIOUSLY NEVER GOING TO GET HER STUFF BACK, YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE IT.
SINCE TECHNICALLY IT IS ALSO YOUR STUFF.

[heartsink]

If it has to happen on Earth, you will be waiting a very long time.

[ u no that bitching about her being vague
this is what "i would like to have some of my stuff" sounds like. ]

[crab]

IF I COULD GET BACK TO THE MOON, I ASSURE YOU, I WOULD ALREADY BE THERE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING, COMING DOWN HERE. LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE.
IT IS LIKE THEY SCULPTED THIS PLACE FROM THE ACTUAL PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF TERRIBLE, WHATEVER THAT MAY BE. THAT IS EXSILIUM'S CURRENT STATUS.
TALK ABOUT THE CHUMPIEST CHUMP MOVE I EVER MADE.

[heartsink]

You can.

There's enough people with powers. You could solicit their Network, and they'll trip over their own feet to do a good deed for a stranger. Someone will have a way to get you here.

If you don't piss them all off first, I mean.

[crab]

I ALREADY SOLICITED THE NETWORK FOR A GOOD DEED EARLIER THIS MONTH.
I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED IN DOING IT AGAIN.
BESIDES, EVEN IF I MAKE IT BACK UP TO THE MOON, THE MOMENT THE PEOPLE I'M TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM FIND OUT WHERE I AM AND HOW I GOT HERE, THEY'LL CHASE ME DOWN *HERE*, TOO.
NO, I SHAT MY COCOON WHEN I MADE THE TRIP DOWN TO EARTH. NOW I HAVE TO MARINATE IN THE LUMPY, RANCID SHAME.

HOW LONG ARE YOU STAYING UP THERE?

[heartsink]

However long it remains operational. If I have any say in it, anyway.

Who are you trying to get away from?

[ this totally isn't concern or emotional investment. ]

[crab]

SUPERHEROES.

[heartsink]

You may as well have just said Transports.

How many?

[crab]

YEAH, BUT THESE ONES ACTUALLY DEFINE THEMSELVES *AS* SUPERHEROES.
THERE ARE TWO. THERE'S A THIRD ONE, AS WELL, BUT SHE'S OK.
SHE GETS THE TIMELINE THING, SO SHE'S NOT ENTIRELY HOPELESS.
WHATEVER. IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE SET ON STAYING UP THERE?

[ this totally isn't missing her or emotional investment. ]

[heartsink]

Is it still snowing?

[crab]

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, ALL SNOW HAS SPONTANEOUSLY CEASED TO FALL, RIGHT AS I RECEIVED THIS TEXT.

IF YOU TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO BACK.

[ why is he asking her to come down to earth he left the moon to get away from her ]

[heartsink]

I already asked my favor. If I ask any more, I'll be the one with superheroes hounding me.

[ for friendship!! ]

You're the one who called going to Earth the chumpest chump move, anyway.

[crab]

WELL IT IS
I STAND BY MY STATEMENT.
YOU SHOULD STILL GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE, THOUGH.

[ he's lonely. ]

[heartsink]

Why?

[crab]

WELL GOLLY GEE I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA
HOW ABOUT THAT THING THAT WAS THE ENTIRE REASON FOR CONTACTING YOU?
YOU KNOW, THE MATTER OF MY HAULING YOUR LUGGAGE AROUND WHEREVER I GO UNTIL YOU SEE FIT TO COLLECT IT.

[heartsink]

If it's that much of a burden to you, throw it away. I'm not stranding myself on that island with those people.

[crab]

OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SO PREDICTABLE. I'M NOT THROWING IT AWAY.
YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH *ANYONE* IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.
YOU'RE ACTUALLY FORCED TO FIND YOUR OWN WAY DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW.
YOU CAN BECOME A FUCKING SNOW HERMIT IF IT SUITS YOU, JUST COME PICK UP YOUR STUPID CLOTHES.