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[heartsink]

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Comments

[crab]

WHY DO YOU MAKE EVERYTHING INTO SUCH AN ENORMOUS FEDERAL ISSUE
ALL I WANT IS TO HAND OVER YOUR BELONGINGS. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR HOW DIFFICULT YOU ARE MAKING THIS.
THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SMOOTH, BUSINESSLIKE EXCHANGE AND EVENTUAL TRANSACTION.
I INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE YOUR CLOTHES. YOU SAY YES I WOULD LIKE MY CLOTHES. I SAY GREAT, MEET ME WHENEVER. YOU MEET ME WHENEVER AND TAKE POSSESSION OF YOUR CLOTHES. WE GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS, FREE OF BOTH MIGRAINES AND ANEURYSMS.
NOT WE SPEND AN HOUR ARGUING ABOUT WHICH ONE OF US GOES TO WHICH SPINNING SPACE ROCK.

[heartsink]

Then maybe you should have brought it up, when we were on the same rock to begin with.

[crab]

WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP.

[heartsink]

Maybe you should acknowledge that you're wrong, rather than hope I won't point it out when you are.

[crab]

DO YOU WANT YOUR STUFF OR NOT

[heartsink]

Not if it means I have to go to Earth to get it.

[crab]

WHY???

[heartsink]

Because
I
don't
want
to.

[crab]

NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
I DON'T WANT TO BE WEARING A SHITTY CHRISTMAS SWEATER, I STILL HAVE TO DO IT.
AND IF MY NOT WANTING TO DO THINGS ISN'T AN EXCUSE NOT TO DO THEM, IT SURE ISN'T FOR YOU.

[heartsink]

It's not my fault if you cave under pressure.

[crab]

BEING PINNED TO THE FLOOR FOR AN HOUR ISN'T PRESSURE.
IT'S EXTREME DURESS.

[heartsink]

Okay.

Then, it's not my fault if you cave under extreme duress.

[crab]

OK HOW ABOUT THIS
IF YOU CAN SUGGEST AN ACTUAL CONCRETE METHOD BY WHICH I CAN MAKE THE TRIP BACK TO THE MOON
NOT JUST "ASK THE NETWORK, SEE WHAT HAPPENS"
AND ALSO MAKE THE TRIP *BACK*
I WILL PERSONALLY TRAVEL UP THERE TO GIVE YOU YOUR STUFF.
IN THE EVENT THAT YOU CAN'T, HOWEVER, YOU HAVE TO COME DOWN HERE AND SUFFER WITH ME.

[heartsink]

Ugh.

[heartsink]

Talk to Ashraf.

[crab]

WHICH ONE'S ASHRAF?

[heartsink]

One of the healers. Tall, scruffy beard, dark hair, middling-dark skin, unfortunately attractive. Robes.

[crab]

WAIT, HOLD UP.
"UNFORTUNATELY ATTRACTIVE"

[heartsink]

Yes. He's attractive, and it's very unfortunate.

[crab]

SINCE WHEN DO YOU JUST *HAND* ME BLACKMAIL MATERIAL LIKE THAT.
YOU USUALLY MAKE ME WORK FOR IT.

[heartsink]

What are you raving about? Once you meet him, you'll understand.

[crab]

OK BUT CONSIDER THE FACT THAT ONCE I MEET HIM, AND HE ASKS ME WHO RECOMMENDED HIM TO ME, I WILL BE IN PRIME POSITION TO DISCLOSE "HARUKA'S" "UNFORTUNATE ATTRACTION" TO THIS "ASHRAF", SHOULD I CHOOSE TO DO SO.
I'M NOT GOING TO, BUT STILL. YOU DON'T JUST GIVE THAT KIND OF LEVERAGE AWAY. AT LEAST MAKE A GUY DIG AROUND FOR IT FIRST.

[heartsink]

I'm not even *friends* with the man, Karkat, I don't think he's going to care if I think he has a nice jawline.

[crab]

NOW IT'S JUST GETTING EMBARRASSING.
WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT NOT NEEDING TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR FANTASIES?

[heartsink]

One, ew.

Two, ew.

Three, you sound jealous.

And, four, ew.