Ah, ( he laughs, and that's what he does isn't it ) it was a long time before I even had an opportunity to meet her again. But even when I had it, I didn't want to take it. If it weren't for someone else, I probably wouldn't have. I'd thought, if she doesn't remember me, then — 

( then, what; then, it'd be too painful to meet her. then, it'd maybe be for the best. she has her own life, and she got ten years away from all the troubles that hound his footsteps. scarcely half an hour in her presence again and she'd been endangered again (and again and again), and for all that she'd spoken of missing him, then and here, he still wonders if that was for the best. )